AAC Women's Blog

My Top 10 Tips for Becoming a Kinder, Gentler Mom

Who’s on summer break? Ours begins next week, which means we Kopitzkes are gearing up for lots of family togetherness. And you know what that means.

I’m bored!

She’s bugging me!

For the twelfth time today, I told you to put away the that iPad and empty the dishwasher, please. Aaaack!!!!

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For lots of us moms, summer time is cranky time. So I thought we could all benefit from a list of my top 10 tips for becoming a kinder, gentler, sun-shiny mother. You know, the kind who enjoys her kids more than she scolds them. It really is possible! Here’s how.

1. Know your triggers. What causes the Momster in you to snap and growl? Hint: it’s not necessarily the kids. We all struggle with various culprits, like exhaustion, hurt feelings, busyness and lots more. The first step is to recognize what conjures the beast within, so you can tackle a known adversary and win.

2. Salvage your witness. When we blow up at the kids, what does that teach them about Jesus? Try to remember He’s in the room, and you just might choose not to throw that hairbrush after all.

3. Count your blessings. When I get cranky, the last thing I feel like doing is counting my blessings. But that’s exactly why it’s the perfect time to do it. A heart focused on the positive is strong enough to deflect the negative. Choose to count your joys rather than your grievances.

4. Tell Satan to go back to hell where he belongs. Your family is sacred ground, allied territory, God’s very own dwelling place. There’s no room for the enemy here. So resist the urge to let Him in. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

5. Laugh! For heaven’s sake, mommas, let’s lighten up! Remember laughter? Silly jokes, dancing in the living room, dressing the cat in doll clothes—just do it! And be amazed at how good a healthy round of belly laughs can feel.

6. Take a break. No mother on earth can give what she has not first received from God. Give yourself permission to rest, rejuvenate, read a book, take a bath, steal away with girlfriends for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. Good moms take care of their children, yes of course. But great moms take care of themselves, too.

7. Explore your child’s heart. Give the kids space to be who they are. Ask questions about their interests and ideas, delve into their world and show them you appreciate and respect their unique qualities. Chances are, when you take the time to know your children better, you’ll discover more and more to love—and less and less to get cranky about.

8. Ditch the usual routine and do something wacky. Serve popcorn for dinner. Go swimming at bath time. Camp in the back yard with lots and lots of s’mores. Often a break from the same-old daily drill is all it takes to loosen a momma’s cranky pants—and build sweet memories the kids will treasure for a lifetime.

9. Remember grace—for the kids and for yourself. We’ll all have moments of frustration and mistakes. Nobody is perfect, so let’s create the kind of homes where imperfection is welcome and God’s grace is evident, because “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

10. Pray. There is no greater power for the cranky mom than God’s strength at work within us. In those moments when you’re tempted to blow, throw your hands up to the sky and beg for God’s help. He will gladly grant it. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5).

My new book, The Cranky Mom Fix: Get a Happier, More Peaceful Home by Slaying the “Momster” in All of Us, is out now! It is packed with biblical wisdom, practical tips, and been-there advice from one {reformed} cranky mom to another. I cannot wait for your home and heart to be transformed by this book. It really is possible—with Jesus.


Cranky Mom

Want more useful tips for gentle responses to challenging life and family situations?  Author Becky Kopitzke offers these plus more in her new book The Cranky Mom Fix.  Order yours here and check out Becky's blog at https://beckykopitzke.com.  

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About the Author: Becky Kopitzke

Becky Kopitzke is the author of The SuperMom Myth: Conquering the Dirty Villains of Motherhood and the upcoming Generous Love: Discover the Joy of Living “Others First.” Becky lives in lovely northeast Wisconsin with her husband and their two daughters, where her home office is overrun with bouncy balls and tween craft supplies. For weekly, keeping-it-real encouragement, visit Becky’s blog.

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