I could tell by the sound of his backpack hitting the bench in the back hall that something was not right. My youngest humphed down the hall and into the pantry, which was his typical stopping point, but nothing about his snack hunt was normal. It was obvious that some bottled-up emotions were about to come exploding out in one way or another. He sat down at our counter, and behind his glasses I could see that his fight to hold back tears was coming to its final round.
My momma heart broke into a million pieces as he poured out a story about who the world said he was.
It was never about my perfect schedule and rock-solid curriculum. It was never about my own weighty plans and expectations. It was never at all about me and my success with homeschooling.
It was about showing up for my kids, with my successes and failures, in love and obedience to tackle the great unknowns of 2020, like homeschooling and life together as a family.
For the past few years, we have been carefully working at reclaiming this area little by little from invasive weeds. It has been quite the process that can occasionally feel as if we are going nowhere. We succeed with new growth in one area only to have what appears to be more weeds growing in another. At times our hard work seems futile, but there is no area of my garden that reminds me more of God’s sovereignty, plans, and purpose.
Join me for Finding God Friday with my husband, Eric, as we discuss 5 lessons we have learned in the last 21 years of marriage. Having a child with a disability can put a lot of strain on a marriage, we can honestly say that it has not been easy but it has been worth it and are grateful for the lessons we have learned along the way.
I had a goal this year.
I was super ambitious and decided that since Thanksgiving fell so late, I wanted to have all Christmas shopping done before the big turkey day. That way, I would have the entire three and a half weeks to decorate, watch my share of Hallmark movies, and enjoy one of my favorite holidays with my family. For those of you that know me, yes, I admit that this is shocking as I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator. However, I've been recognizing the need for a bit more structure in my life and decided that this was the perfect opportunity to bring order to chaos and to make way for Christmas.
Did you know that God also made way for Christmas?
“I am sorry,” the doctor stated, “we will not be able to do your daughter’s procedure this morning.”
I could feel tears begin to well in my eyes. I couldn’t hold them back. I had gotten up in the wee hours of the morning to arrive at the hospital. Elena desperately needed this procedure. In the past it had helped to prevent the pneumonias we were continually fighting back to back. I knew it would be a game changer for her.
What poured out of my mouth I am ashamed to say was not characteristic of a Christian woman and actually resembled an angry mamma bear.
I was expecting that things would go as planned.
I was expecting that my Elena would benefit from our scheduled procedure.
I was expecting that the long drive to and from Milwaukee would not be for nothing.
When we place our hope in the things of this world, we can often end up feeling frustrated and deceived when things do not go according to our expectation.
But as Christians we are called to place our hope and expectation in the Lord (Psalm 62:5) and in His many promises (Psalm 89:34).
Welcome to Finding God Fridays. This weekly series is filled with amazing testimonies of what God is doing in the lives of believers and some of the lessons He has taught me on this crazy journey called life. This week my sister in Christ, Mandy Nackers, and I celebrate womanhood and some of the unique and beautiful purposes God had when He created Eve. God has created us in His image carefully but differently than men, and those differences are wonderful and beautiful. Join us we discuss just a few aspects of God’s perfect design: our desire for relationships, our need to cultivate an environment for growth, and our responsibility as first responders.
If you are a parent, then you have been there. That dreaded moment when your sweet little blessing from above decides to display their independence in public places.
We were on the last of our errands, I had just filled his belly with mall yumminess and set the expectation that we would not be getting treats or trinkets from the dollar section. We were not even past the entrance mats when he hit the dirt. “I want a pretzel!”
Now, this was not my first rodeo. Unfortunately, it was the norm for a while as he struggled to find his place in the world. And today was no different, except we were only shopping for this one item and my car was on the other side of the mall. But this tantrum was not the part of this story that stuck in my head. It was the reaction I received from strangers.